whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
