Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
