i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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