Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize