You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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