I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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