What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
