It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
