My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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