im drinking this country out of the recession.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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