People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
