Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
