Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Is Oprah even human
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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