Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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