Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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