omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize