I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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