Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
