covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize