How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
