I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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