Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Still dying that you shit outside
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
