Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he just fucked me for my cheese..
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
