Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
