who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
