wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
