Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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