anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
