I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
