Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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