I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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