Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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