We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You smell like stripper and shame
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
