You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's blow job season.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
