ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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