At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
