i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
