the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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