well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
