if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
