Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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