spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I need a hoe opinion
go on
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
