it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
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the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
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Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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