remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
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