The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
