oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
