Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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