I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
