Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
