Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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