Umm I'm too high to move.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
