i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
