dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I love having hate sex.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
