I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize