yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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