is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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