So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
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I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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