Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
