I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
