It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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