shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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