i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
