a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
being pregnant is like rehab
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
