We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
