it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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