Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

suggestion: become a stripper.

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(410): View more from Maryland

she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.

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(941): View more from Florida

there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.

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(916): View more from California

nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds

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(914): View more from New York

We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.

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(206): View more from Washington

So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!

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