Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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