At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
