I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Green mimosas i think yes
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
