I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
